Two fellas were enjoying the afternoon, fishing in a boat under a bridge. Joe looks up and sees a funeral procession starting to across the bridge. He promptly stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. As the procession nears an end, Joe puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.

Joe's buddy, Dave says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you"

Joe responds, "Well, I guess it was the right thing to do, after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

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Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to relieve themselves. They were near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and discarded.

Her friend however was wearing an expensive pair and didn't want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These darn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties on."

"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card between her cheeks that said, "From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!"